28.2.07

Oscar pie


Oh the pie. What a pie...
I won´t say it was the most revolting thing I´ve ever cooked, because the Purple Rice Incident of 1997 is still fresh in my memory. It comes pretty close, though.

All my fault, too. I was out of ink cartridges and couldn´t be bothered to write down the recipe. But I thought I´d just wing it. It´s only an assembly job of pastry, pastry cream, bananas and cream, what could go wrong?

Ha. Overconfidence is always the beginning. From then on, it was one mistake after the other.
Since I´ve never met a Graham cracker in my life, I decided to make a normal sablé pastry. But I flippantly susbituted a whole egg for the two yolks it called for, with the result that it didn´t roll out so well. Which would have been fine, except that I was trying out a new silicone tart mould. Which is ok, except that I have Oven Issues. Won´t bore you with them, but moulds and pans have to be balanced on some pottery making equipment, or I end up with raw things with scorched undersides.
Silicone being soft, the mold caved in and the pastry inmediately shattered.
Which wouldn´t have mattered, if I hadn´t made the creme patissiere from a Donna Hay recipe.
Now, Donna had never failed me before. I relied on her steadfastly no-nonsense approach for this sort of thing. Donna may not chat, but she delivers, yes? Well, actually, no. Whole milk, free range eggs, the seeds from one Madagascar vanilla bean and some cornstarch, and what do I get? A wobbly brick of yellow stuff that looked and tasted as if it had come out of a post-war ration package.
Which didn´t stop me from trying to make the pie, hope being always the last thing to go.
What a sight. Sometimes I really wish this was a blog with photos. It´d have done your heart good to see the thing. Broken pastry topped with wodges of zinc yellow stuff and wisps of whipped cream trying gamely to cover up the mess, the whole looking for all the world like the insides of an alien´s brain.

It went straight into the bin, but you know what? I don´t care. Marty has his Oscar, and I can still bake a kick-ass brownie, so all was well in the end.

11 comentarios:

Lydia dijo...

Wonderful post, Ximena! I think the dishes I remember most -- and certainly the ones that have become part of our family history -- are the ones that failed, the more spectacular the failure, the better the story. Of course you will probabl try the pie again, and it will be brilliant!

Judith in Umbria dijo...

You can replace graham crackers with digestive biscuits, but my mum always made this pie with ordinary short pastry, the US kind without eggs and certainly NO SUGAR. This is too sweet for a sweet crust.
I prefer lots of pies to banana cream.

Rachel dijo...

You are so funny!

I love this pie picture. I wish I could hang it on the wall.

xps dijo...

But the brownie......maravilloso.

Lego y Pulgón dijo...

Oven issues! Give me a hug!

Callipygia dijo...

I completely hear you with the overconfidence thing... that is what we need to keep our egos from overinflating too much! Viva L'Oscar Pie-

sandi @ the whistlestop cafe dijo...

It takes a confident person to post a goof... I love it!
I'd rather have a good brownie any day.

Alice Q dijo...

Wodgy - hee-larious. I know how you feel, and I can picture it perfectly!

MyKitchenInHalfCups dijo...

Umm, with that description, who would need a picture.
Love that hope being the last thing to go.
I probably need your kick-ass brownie for my brownie smack down to come.

Julie dijo...

Spectacular! If things are going to go wrong, best to have them go wrong in a big way.

Anónimo dijo...

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