13.4.07

Seriously, dude, call the lobster squad


That scene in Annie Hall where Woody Allen throws a hissy fit when confronted by real live lobsters...It´s funny, right? I´ve used it to name my blog, stands to reason I love it.

However, now that I´ve been through a live-crustacean experience myself, I think it has a deep undercurrent of tragedy. Chasing critters around your kitchen is as harrowing to body and soul as breaking up with the love of your life over alfalfa sprouts in a healthfood restaurant. Funny, yes, when told by a master, but ultimately, a nasty horrid thing to happen to one.

I´ll go into the reasons for this at some point, but for now, just know that in a moment of rash professional integrity, when asked to draw crayfish, I didn´t just google them, I bought some to use as models. It´s not easy to draw things that wiggle their claws at you (see video) and climb all over the watercolour box. It´s even harder when your sister decides to treat them as pets, and assign them names and personalities.
Harder still when they come out of the pot, and you can still recognize each and every one of the five.
Ugh. I´m telling you, I feel like I´ve been tried in the furnace. As for the crayfish, well, poor dears...Once they were cooked, they looked so pretty and red, and didn´t move, which made it so much easier to draw them. But so hard to resist peeling them.

17 comentarios:

Pille dijo...

I'm scared of anything with claws, so no lobsters in our kitchen just now. But the idea of thinking of lobsters as pets (and telling one from another) is sweet:-)

Danielle dijo...

When my brother and I were kids, we once saw live crayfish at a gourmet food store. We begged our mother to buy them for us as pets. The guy at the seafood counter thought we were very strange, but we each picked one out and got to take them home with us. They died after just a few days, though. But we tried!

Your post just brought that memory back for me. Thank you.

MyKitchenInHalfCups dijo...

Growing up we lived in Mobile Alabama for 2 years and my Dad would often stop by the docks of the fishing fleet on his way home from work. Several times the lobsters and crabs would escape between the sack and the pot. They are the devil to catch!

Ramona dijo...

WOW, I think that is an actual picture, taken with a camera on your blog. Has that ever happened before? I love Crayfish!

Carmen. dijo...

Es como una película de terror... Menos mal que se oye tu voz, lo cual tranquiliza bastante. Te deberían de pagar un plus de peligrosidad y para compensar lo que te has gastado!

Ellie dijo...

I kind of feel like a bit of a horrid human being for saying this, but reading that last confession of yours almost made me split my sides with laughter!

I hope you'll tell us how the cooked crayfish were decorated before being devoured ;)

Homesick Texan dijo...

We always served crawdads (the hick word for crayfish) in such huge piles, there was no way you could recognize each one. And while I love to eat them (and lobsters), your story definitely gives me pause.

Melissa dijo...

Yikes - that video gave me the shivers! There's a reason I've never mustered the courage to cook crustaceans myself - you're a braver soul by far. At least they're not the kind of thing that might scamper under the bed if you turn your back for a second, eh?

Petite Guitar dijo...

I'm the director of the video and am very proud of doing it. I never enjoyed that much in my life...

Thank you Pille of your comment, they were sweet...of course I had to leave my sister's house before the cooking...

Thanks Lobstersister of letting me do it!!!

xps dijo...

Enhorabuena a la petite guitar y a ti por atreverte con esos bichos. bonitos, no lo niego.... pero qué pánico.

Jessica dijo...

The tongs just killed me! Love it.

Lego y Pulgón dijo...

¡¡¡¿Por qué?!!!
Cuando voy al cine a ver una película de terror y mucho susto,los carteles de la entrada me avisan de que voy a pasar un alegre mal rato. Pero esto ha sido a traición...
A partir de ahora tengo nuevos argumentos para mis pesadillas (ya estaban incluídos los caracoles que chocan contra la tapa del caldero al intentar escapar del agua hirviendo...¿o ya estaban muertos y quieren venganza con sus ropas hechas jirones?). Ahora intervendrán también langostas asesinas, que nunca hasta hoy me había percatado de que son parientes (lejanas, pero parientes) de mis archienemigas las cucarachas; langostas asesinas que, cuando llame a la policía de las langostas, soltarán una carcajada grave y con eco, mientras me rodean y hacen ¡Clac! ¡clac! con las pinzas llenas de sangre de otras víctimas.
¡Muchas gracias! Los farmacéuticos y vendedores anónimos de pastillas para dormir te están también agradecidos.
Y a tí Guitarrín, gracias por la parte que te toca en esta destrucción de un ser humano, antes alegre y vital.

lobstersquad dijo...

Pille: no lobsters in my kitchen in a good long while, I promise you.
Danielle: please don´t put ideas in my sister´s head!
mykitchen...: I´d hate to have to chase the things inside a car.
Ramona: yep, well, first time for everything. but there´s a drawing there as well...
Carmen: ya ves, toda la razón. voy a negociar el plus
Ellie: they didn´t last long enough to be decorated, I confess...
Htx: If it´d been a huge pile climbing over my watercolours, I´d have freaked out seriously.
Melissa: don´t do that. now I have to look under the bed!!!
PG:don´t even think of talking to animals I´m going to cook, ever again! but thanks for the video.
XPs: pánico Xime
Jessica: yeah, the tongs were a life saver.
Lego: lo siento, compendo que ha sido un golpe bajo, pero no sabes qué terrorífico fue en ese momento, dirigiendo el tráfico crustáceo con mis propias pinzas. un horror, vamos.

LE BLOG dijo...

Pues me ha parecido bastante simpáticas, la verdad; estaban allí ellas muy tranquilitas como sabiendo que estaban posando para una ARTISTA. Yo creo que hubiera cambiado esas por otras a las que no conociera para luego poder cocinarlas, QUÉ PALO!

bea at la tartine gourmande dijo...

This is hilarious and tragic all the same, my poor you! The video gave me shivers! Beurk! I have the same horrible dilemma to bring these creatures in the kitchen, close to a pot and the likes!

ann dijo...

ha, this reminds me of the time I took my oh so painfully chic Italian friend to a cajun restaurant. She asked, "what are zeze craaayfeesh?" to which I replied, "well, they're like tiny lobsters!" she gasped with glee and ordered them, and then when the gigantic bowl of them showed up in front of her, I think I actually saw her turn a few shades of green. But, she persevered, managing to not get a single spot on her Prada.
What troopers you and her.
Perhaps you should have cooked them in the oven ;-)

ASMO dijo...

Oh, the joys of crayfish! I feel your pain and your delight: http://havekitchenwillcook.squarespace.com/have-kitchen-will-cook/2006/9/13/kraeftor-swedish-crayfish-sauna-with-dill.html

Fortunately snapping at them with a camera is much quicker than the water-colours. What patience you have!

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